An Even Keel

27.5 hours. That's how much research-related work I squeezed into the week of Sept 7-13. At the time, I was gaining a foothold.

8.5 hours. That was last week. I fell so far behind on my administrative and teaching duties that I couldn't even squeeze out the standard 12 hrs. So, the foothold slipped a bit.

9.5 hours. That's this week, if I push hard through Saturday. It's likely I'll come in somewhere around 6-7, because I continue to struggle to catch up with my workload.

In my post-grad-school life, I have learned that binges are unsustainable. The days when I could hunker down for days on end in a pair of ratty shorts with the blinds half-drawn, ignoring the bills, the phone, other people, personal hygiene -- those days are gone. People keep calling and knocking, meetings keep coming, deadlines roll in, and it's my job to run out and meet it all, every morning.

So: I have replaced excitingly frenetic Binge with the dull and plodding Even Keel. I think I was right to seek one sustained week of more intense focus, but I've been paying for it ever since. For the most part, my gains on this project have to be made daily. Every morning, to be precise. In small increments. Woven into the rest of my life.

The trouble with the Even Keel is that it's just as exhausting as the Binge. Adding in 1-2 hours every morning makes my day tight. Having every moment of every day scheduled to the max eventually makes me want to do nothing. Nothing at all. I sometimes lie on my bed and stare at the wall: such sweet relief.

I welcome any thoughts about how to keep an even keel without grinding oneself into a catatonic state. Anybody figured this one out?