Energy, Exhaustion, and Rest
I've been thinking about energy management a lot lately.
I'm not sure why I rented "The Devil Wears Prada," a forgettable film. But I found one thing to like about it besides the excellent clothes: Streep's interpretation of her high-powered executive's energy management strategies. Streep's "devil" rules the fashion world, but doesn't lift a finger unnecessarily, doesn't raise her voice or even her eyebrow. She wastes energy on no one. She does, after all, have better things to do.
I think I have better things to do, too. After years of my own failed energy policies, I'm beginning to see why this matters so much. I have this problem: I push myself hard, every day, outlining ambitious "to do" lists even for Saturdays and evenings. I push in my day job, in my scholarship, in my workouts, in my personal life. Full steam ahead, pack it all in. But then, now and again -- and lately, more frequently -- I hit a wall. At these moments, I can't get out of bed in the morning. I lie down, even when I'm not tired, just so I can stare at the wall and daydream.
In the past, I've tended to rail against myself when this happens. Diagnosing the problem as "laziness," I outline a suitable remedy: pour on more energy! I whip up self-guilt, confess to my calendar, and vow greater devotion to the almighty "To Do" list.
But I'm starting to get a clue. Let's suppose that The Wall isn't a symptom of laziness. Let's call it the result of exhaustion. Well, now, that changes things. If the problem is exhaustion, then the remedy is to rest more, more regularly. In essence, to conserve more energy.
As a distance runner, I should have expected this. Endurance sports are primarily about energy management. Distance runners aren't powerful or fast or heroically masochistic in training. We just learn to save energy early in a run, so that we've plenty left 12 miles down the line. But somehow I haven't learned that trick in the rest of my life.
What does it mean to conserve energy, so that I can complete this long-distance project? How do I mange to REST more. Rest, note, is different from play. Resting doesn't mean spending more time in society, or doing sports, or cleaning house. For me, rest requires quiet time, often alone. It doesn't just mean sleeping, but slowing down and savoring the light on the lake, watching a TV show, taking a walk.
I don't know how to do this, frankly. What are the mechanics of energy management? Do I schedule in "rest" time? How does it fit within an otherwise goal-oriented, full schedule? . . . I have a feeling it has something to do with rituals and resting routines -- Sabbaths, say.
If you have a resting routine that works for you, I'd like to hear about it.
